


Hallelujah

by Dark_Earl



Series: Palpatine x Obi-Wan: Arranged marriage AU [16]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Hurt No Comfort, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Memories, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Shrek References, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28192248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Earl/pseuds/Dark_Earl
Summary: Obi-Wan recalls how it was then and compares it to how it is now.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Sheev Palpatine, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Sheev Palpatine
Series: Palpatine x Obi-Wan: Arranged marriage AU [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927522
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	Hallelujah

Warmth behind his back, and hands, hugging him tightly. A soft pillow under his head and the stillness of an early Coruscant morning in the Chancellor's suite in the Republic 500. They needed to get up and Obi-Wan felt completely rested, but the bed was so warm and cozy that he didn't want to get out of it.

The bedroom was neither dark nor light; the large windows were covered with loose curtains, letting in only a little light inside. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and let it out, the other's arms wrapping around him even tighter, pressing against the hot body behind his back. Obi-Wan smiled.

“Already awake?” a low, hoarse voice asked. “I know that you are already awake…”

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and sat in the bed abruptly. The bedroom was dark, and in the bed he was alone. The warm blanket slid from his shoulders, and Obi-Wan shivered in the cool air.

Apparently, the dream evoked familiar memories, but the reality was completely different.

Since he learned the truth about Palpatine, they have slept in separate bedrooms.

Obi-Wan sighed and got out of bed.

The usual boring morning routine: bathroom, wardrobe, breakfast. As he stepped out into the living room, Obi-Wan glanced quickly at the three small, static holograms that sat on the wide dresser against the wall. They were placed in glass cubes, which contained a special gas. Thanks to it, the holograms were not normal blue, but multi-colored.

These were their photographs. The first one was from the wedding, where they were dressed up in traditional outfits, holding hands, standing by the fountain. The second was from Palpatine's first inauguration as Chancellor of the Republic. Obi-Wan kissed Sheev on the cheek, congratulating him on the appointment. And the third was a portrait hologram from their tenth anniversary, which was not long before the beginning of the war. They were doing a big interview for HoloNet News, the picture was taken specifically for the article, but Obi-Wan thought it was very good and took a copy.

In the dining room, a droid butler greeted Obi-Wan politely. The table was set for one. Obi-Wan ate his breakfast in silence and solitude, staring thoughtlessly at the gray sky outside the window.

When he left the apartment, two clones in red and white armor, who were on duty at the door, silently followed him. Obi-Wan sighed. Previously, there was no such intrusive security, he and Sheev left the apartment together and went to the parking lot, where at this time of the morning many senators who lived in the same building were getting ready for their daily business. He and Sheev nodded to everyone they could cross in the corridors or in the parking lot, sometimes even stopping to have a few words. Obi-Wan somehow clearly remembered one cold but sunny morning. It was on the eve of Republic Day. All of Coruscant was adorned with the flags of the republican systems, celebrations were being prepared, and in the evenings Sheev was writing his solemn speech. There was a festive atmosphere in the capital, the city-planet was overflowing with tourists as never before.

He and Sheev entered the parking lot and were on their way to their speeder when Obi-Wan spotted Senator Padmé Amidala's gleaming golden droid, waving his hands in annoyance and wailing as he usually did. Padmé herself stood beside her speeder, arms folded across her chest in displeasure as the clumsy multicolored maintenance droid was fixing the engine. For some reason, this sight looked funny. Obi-Wan couldn't help but giggle as Padmé noticed him and looked up at him. He nodded to her in greeting, and she waved her hand with a sigh.

"I'm afraid Senator Amidala might be late for today’s meeting in the Senate," Obi-Wan said with a smile as he and Sheev got into their speeder. The chauffeur rushed them to the Senate building...

Today was the usual dull, cloudy day. A strong wind was blowing, and Obi-Wan pulled his dark cloak tightly around him. Reaching his closed speeder, he sat in the back seat, hiding from the wind and sighing in relief. The clone troopers sat in the front, waiting for Obi-Wan to tell them where to go.

"The embassy," Obi-Wan muttered and closed his eyes.

*  
Closer to lunchtime, Palpatine was to speak at a charity event, the funds raised from which would go to a fund helping worlds affected by war; Obi-Wan, maintaining the image of the inseparable spouses, had to be present as well. Along with other politicians, he stood behind Palpatine, who spoke eloquently about the efforts being made to end the war, but was only half-listening. He knew anyway that not a single word spoken was true; he looked into the void in front of him and saw another memory - himself, standing behind the podium, and before him a crowd of happy people. The sun blinded his eyes and reflected in glare on the water surface of the lake, above which the Hall of Evidence hovered on the repulsors. More than ten years have passed since the war on Melida/Daan ended. Obi-Wan was still revered as a hero, and every year on Day of Peace he gave a short celebration speech. It became a tradition that Obi-Wan humbly resigned to, but this year he felt both pride and nervousness - it was the first Day of Peace since his wedding with Palpatine, and Sheev came to the celebration to be with his spouse. Obi-Wan saw him in the crowd along with a delegation from Naboo. Sheev smiled at him, and Obi-Wan smiled back.

How different it was then. Even though their marriage was based on mutual benefit, Obi-Wan was able to convince himself that this wouldn’t stop them from becoming a real family. He fell in love with Sheev, or convinced himself of this - somehow their relationship became something more than just a marriage of convenience.

Now, listening to the Chancellor's more than hypocritical speech, Obi-Wan blamed himself for everything that was happening - he was too young, stupid and naive, and made the wrong decision. Even though he realized that this would not change the fact that Palpatine was a Sith, he still felt responsible for everything that happens in the Galaxy. Was it possible that for all the time they spent together, Sheev didn’t feel anything for him, and their whole life was a deception inside another deception? Was Obi-Wan not a good enough spouse to make him feel the same way in return? Perhaps he did something wrong somewhere? If he had tried harder, perhaps Palpatine would have reconsidered his plans to conquer the universe. Perhaps if Obi-Wan had noticed the Dark side of the Force surrounding them all the time, the war could have been avoided.

All these days he couldn’t find an answer to these questions, rummaging in his memories. Their shared interviews, annual attendance at elite races on Malastare - after all, both of them were fond of podracing; quiet home evenings, receptions, travels, politics. They were the perfect couple in the eyes of the entire Republic and even the Galaxy, and Obi-Wan believed they had succeeded in becoming who they pretended to be. But he miscalculated.

"Obi-Wan, are you okay?" a quiet, worried voice sounded to his right.

Obi-Wan dug out of his memory and looked around. After the charity event, they went to lunch at an expensive restaurant with a couple of other senators. Obi-Wan didn't even notice. Turning to the voice, he saw Bail Organa to his right at the round table, with whom, like with Padmé, he was friends, even though the political views of the senator from Alderaan didn’t always coincide with those of Palpatine.

Bail looked at him gloomily, with concern. Obi-Wan smiled.

“Yes, I was just thinking,” he replied.

Palpatine himself sat to his left and didn't seem to notice his detachment.

*  
Obi-Wan dined alone in the brightly lit dining room. Of course, he and Sheev weren’t always at home at the same time to have dinner together, because their schedules often didn’t coincide; but Obi-Wan could clearly feel the difference. After all, he knew then that his husband was somewhere busy with important state affairs; now he was no longer sure of it.

He was picking at the food with a fork, he was not hungry. The last weeks were the worst of his life, apart from the war on Melida/Daan. He still blamed himself for the death of Master Rancisis. For he couldn’t tell anyone the truth and save the Galaxy from the rule of the Sith. For he couldn’t influence Palpatine.

When he heard the sound of a door opening and closing, he looked up. Palpatine appeared in the dusky living room adjacent to the dining room. He was wearing a dark robe, and his face was almost completely hidden by a hood. Palpatine froze for a moment and slowly pulled the hood back from his face. Glancing indifferently at Obi-Wan, he continued on his way and out of sight.

Obi-Wan dropped the fork from his trembling fingers and covered his face with his hands, hiding his desperate tears.

**Author's Note:**

> You know? [That Shrek scene](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eo_EGwKXMAEbPqq?format=png&name=900x900).


End file.
